Maturity and books.

I realized dreams do come true. But, you have to work on it, of course. In my case, right now, this is just a minor thing.

Back then, I wrote the list of the things that I wanted to buy (dated 21st June 2005 in my Soul Review Journal):

- Juan Pablo Dream CD
- Imago's Take 2 CD
- L'arc-en-ciel
- Chicklit Books
- Clothes
- Anime Movies
- A Curling Iron

I've managed to buy everything, except the Juan Pablo CD and *sad face* the Curling Iron.

Actually, what 'kinda' bothers me are these chick lit books that I've been buying this past month (bought 6 books along with 9 VCDs of my favorite dancing movies *grin*). Well, these books were about loves and lives and I really wanted to buy all these last 05. But I realized now that, I didn't enjoy it as much as I did 2 years back (when I first read one of the books). I'm not saying the other books were poorly written, they were good, real good, cute, very lovely. I just don't know why it didn't have this "effect thing" on me. Could it be that I'm mature now? haha! I haven't bought the other 3 or 4 books though so, I'd know the answer when I already bought them all.

Much Love!

Other people matters.

One of the things people hate feeling: is the feeling when they have hurt someone. Was it guilt? or are we just plain sad about it? And how are you going to feel at the end? I always say "depends", so I'm not really sure.

You wanted to save them, but you wanted to save yourself. You want to make them happy, but you can't just throw your own happiness away. You don't want to hurt them, but you don't know what to say, so you try to make it up to them but at the end of the day, they' re still hurt. By you. And you don't even want to. But you just did. So you feel awful.

Regret comes in when you see them again. Happy or Sad. Regret's still there.

But when you don't see or hear from them, a different feeling comes along. Was it curiosity? I still don't know but aware that there's a tugging in your heart that you just can't ignore.

But then, they don't care anymore. Maybe, maybe not. What happened before, what happened between you, what's happening to you. They forget you, or maybe they thought you forget them. Both of you will create a big misunderstanding, and then suddenly, what you thought you had, even the little bit of it, it's gone.

But then again, it's you that wanted it this way, though you wished for a different kind of way, the outcome has been what you wanted. It's like the phrase "same difference", you like it, but hated it in a way. How come you just can't get what you wanted? Because it's not all about you. Other people matters, too. Them, and what they feel.












Hmmm... feeling a bit emo? Haha. That's just my sister, I ain't emo. It's because I stay at the same house as her, breathing the same air, that made me like this. I've been infected by her monkey-emo-ing disease. Haha.

Much love for everyone.